Resiliency – Perseverance 

Going into the New Year, I find myself again reflecting on all the ups and downs over this past year. Every year it amazes me to watch not only myself but others go through so much in a year and to keep pushing on. Through all the ups and the downs, I am always amazed at the strength I and others all have to keep moving forward time and time again, even after experiencing a year of hardships.

I love the concept of resilience and it has been something I have always taken a fascination too. Resilience is the process of adapting in the face of adversity. I know throughout my life, it has given me a lot of strength and hope. I have been through some really difficult times in my life and struggles and knowing that I have gotten through tough times in the past, with help of course, always gives me some hope that I will be able to get through tough times in the future, whatever life throws my way.

I learn a lot about human resilience not just from myself and my own experiences in life but a lot from others and the world around me. I think it can be really easy to focus on all the negatives in our world and around us, as so much negativity is focused on throughout media, but I like to seek out the positives, light out of the darkness, silver lining etc..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For me, seeing and hearing stories of resilience is a way to get a small glimpse into the vast array of positives in the world. This has a way of lightening up my heart, my thought life and even my soul or spirit. Hearing peoples stories of resilience and their strength always makes me reflect on just how strong we can be in the face of adversity, even within those dark moments when life itself often hangs in the balance. There is also a hint of humility and of my own mortality when hearing about the really terrible things that people around the world experience, manage and overcome.

I encourage others, like I do myself, to seek out and share stories of resiliency… including our own. It is easy and even natural to focus on negatives (for survival), to sink into negativity during tough times, dwelling on the times we failed at something, the times we could have done more and those times we could have done or said less. It is naturally and socially more challenging to see and recognize the amazing capacity, strengths and courage we all have in these moments and the resilience and perseverance adversity has built into our character.

Many of the most difficult and painful moments in my life have taught me my most cherished lessons for living – such as lessons about human relationships, honesty, compassion, trust, grieving and loss, kindness, forgiveness and love.

Moving soon into this New Year, I hope to continue to strive daily to see the strength and courage within myself, through both the difficult and the good times no matter what comes my way. I know that it is not always easy to see these positive, colourful and beautiful things clearly, in oneself and in others. I also know that it is quite often a struggle in life, yet, through every struggle I know there is a story of resilience to be told when we are open to accepting help and willing to persevere.

 

Submitted By: Mallory (masters in counselling student)
photos by J. Packer

 

Learning to Dance in the Storms

You can never be fully prepared to lose a loved a one. Whether the death was imminent, anticipated or sudden the emotional and mental aftermath is life-changing, heartbreaking and downright terrifying.   Grief can manifest itself in many forms and rear its overwhelming self at the most inconvenient, unpredictable of times.  Sadly, I know this from personal experience. Four years ago, I lost my sister in a tragic accident while 6 months pregnant with my first child.  Three years ago, my mother passed away. Four months ago, my dad died unexpectedly, exactly one week before Christmas.

The last four years have been a blur with twists and turns I never saw coming. The emotion was so overwhelming it became debilitating.  I felt like I had lost complete control of my world and everything in it.  I would often get trapped in my own sad thoughts. It got to the point that I believed I was not living the life I had envisioned nor sharing it with the people that I wanted to.  As I continued to spiral, my grief manifested into anxiety and panic attacks. I felt stuck, helpless, and lonely. I am not exactly sure the when I realized that I had become an observer in my own life, but I knew I had a choice to make –  continue to stay in this space or begin working through the mess that was my life. I had two young kids, a loving husband, loyal friends and so many blessings to be thankful for – so the choice became clear. With the support of my family doctor, I began talk therapy and educated myself about the grieving process and each stage (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance). Having this awareness and understanding has allowed me to begin working through my losses – in my own time and in my own way.

My mom’s favourite saying was “life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain” and for me, this has so much more meaning today. I have learned that life is hard and unpredictable and it can change in a heartbeat.   The more I accept this the easier life is becoming to manage. It is hard to remember my life and the person I was four years ago. Sometimes things happen in life that change us or sometimes it is an accumulation of life experiences that change us. As we have more experiences, even when they are difficult, they can make us look at life differently and value love and resiliency in a whole new way. We appreciate living in the moment – and also appreciate complexity and growth.

(Graciously submitted by a graduate student)

If you or a loved one are struggling with the loss of a loved one and would like assistance, please  Contact us today!

Photo above by Jan McGrath