Entry #3 of 3) Step-parents are often both, “easy targets” for blame and extra stressed in their attempt to join with others in the family who already have well-established relationship bonds. This dynamic, along with past conflict resolution patterns, can make it rather challenging to adjust after separation and remarriage. Excessive silences can be just as detrimental to a relationship as can angry outbursts. In today’s third post in the series, we hear from the wife/step-mom, a self-proclaimed “rage-aholic“, as she identifies her husband’s contribution…
“I’m married to a silent rage-aholic. When in an argument, he would rather avoid the problem or sweep it under the rug in hopes it will all blow over. In fact, all it does is make it worse! When you don’t talk things out or at least try, it just makes the other person angrier and left feeling alone and that they just don’t matter. How many people out there understand or know what I’m experiencing?
Blaming one another only intensifies and extends the problem as our energies are now invested in misdirected ways. Shifting our perspective away from the other and toward the couple as a team is critical in order to find solutions together. Working through the stresses involved with separation, divorce and remarriage is a complicated process, one that we hope we don’t go through often. Because of limited experience it can be quite helpful to seek out professional coaching.
Our Oshawa counsellors teach effective coping strategies, increase and strengthen your interpersonal skills and help you stop hurtful conflict by increasing calm and successful problem-solving.
Relationships are constructed one sentence, action or facial expression at a time.