While many researchers may indicate yes to this question, it doesn’t have to be so.  The initial turmoil and emotional upset following separation and divorce impacts all family members to some extent disrupting family stability, emotional balance and even parental effectiveness.  Of course this may not come as a surprise. When we experience significant loss, grief and the associated increased stress levels we do not usually function as well, both physically and emotionally.

In his article in The Future of Children, Paul R. Amato expresses this concern;

Many single parents, however, find it difficult to function effectively as parents. Compared with continuously married parents, they are less emotionally supportive of their children, have fewer rules, dispense harsher discipline, are more inconsistent in dispensing discipline, provide less supervision, and engage in more conflict with their children.” VOL. 15 / NO. 2 / FALL 2005  

Many parents in this situation come in for counselling feeling “overwhelmed”, at their “whits end” and even like they’re “losing their mind“.

What can be done?  Fortunately, for those parents (even one) who are open to assistance, and willing to put the marital dispute aside, cooperative parenting coaching, is quite beneficial for improving family functioning.  Learning what is useful when adjusting after a separation and developing an effective co-parenting plan that is specific to your situation can greatly reduce stress and improve social, emotional, cognitive and academic or vocational functioning.

Both, children and parents can do better at school and work, and with each other , with a clearly defined and equitable co-parenting agreement.

Our Oshawa counsellors can assist you with adjusting after separation and divorce and help you develop great co-parenting ... Call us today !

Most of us take parenting skills for granted – that we will somehow instinctively “know” what, when and how to parent. We are gifted with the sage advice of “elders” and (at times) conflicting words of wisdom from friends who claim to have “been there and done that.” Parenting is challenging as both parents and children are faced with more complex and difficult tasks to negotiate at home, work, and school.

Just as the world we live in demands that we constantly upgrade our knowledge to deal with the ever changing technology, parents are finding that they need new tools to cope with the explosion of choices that both they and their children face. Co-operative and Positive Parenting are two such tools. Co-operative Parenting is a skill set that fosters a satisfying parenting experience between couples who are dealing with a degree of conflict. Many separated or divorced couples experience this.

Positive Parenting is a skill set that promotes a parenting experience that utilizes the positive aspects of the child/parent interaction to instill a more harmonious home environment. Both of these skill sets can be obtained through individual, parental and family counselling programs.

Contact Jeff Packer MSW & Associates Inc. for more information.