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How easy is it to feel all alone, isolated and abandoned even though we’re surrounded by people? When we are treated poorly by those closest to us, when we don’t feel heard and when our own friends “bail on us” it is really easy to feel down . We can become resentful, negative about them, the situation and even about ourselves. We may even feel like we are the only one who has been rejected like this, convinced we live in a cold and heartless world.
The image above seems to capture this reality. (photo compliments of Jan M.) We can feel small, unimportant and worthless when people don’t want to hang out with us. One young lady discovered a few solutions after friends “bailed” on her. Interesting how some of our most valuable lessons come out of our deepest struggles.
She wrote the following for this post;
“Build Friendship Assertiveness”
“Sometimes being too available for friends can hurt you more than benefit you. Being too easygoing can harm you as well; don’t go with the flow. Know what you want. Don’t be a pushover and allow others to make all the decisions. Your own indecision can make you feel dismissed and under-appreciated. It’s your life so speak up, voice your thoughts, and ensure that you are being heard. If it’s what you want then real friends will respect it.”
She’s right… know what you want and expect friends to respect this. Of course, you may have to choose new friends that do respect your wishes, limits, boundaries; friends who also share the work involved in keeping a friendship strong.
Develop ways to better communicate your thoughts and feelings, skills for building relationships and conflict resolution because lasting, quality relationships are work and are well worth the effort.
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