Business & Women Fight Back

This video ad is one company’s effort to help people acknowledge the destructive qualities of negative thinking. While it is noble, it still falls short of a positive psychological perspective by suggesting “fat talk” are the women’s own thoughts. We grow up hearing things like, “This is your attitude”, “Change your thoughts”, and “You have a bad attitude” rather than more inclusive conversations about what Carl Jung referred to as the “collective unconscious”.

We all have what I love calling “stinkin’ thinkin'”. No one is immune however, if you are or if you know someone who is without negative thinking, I would sure love an interview; find out how to be totally positive… (mild sarcasm noted).

“Fat Talk”, “Ugly Talk”, “Unworthy Talk” and “Stupid Talk” are collections of thoughts that, in narrative terms, are simply groups of thought or schemata that have been loaded onto our minds. Born with little data or thought on our minds, we are cognitively loaded with zillions and gazillions of data or thoughts. Family, friends, acquaintances, media, nature, in fact, all experiences are saved on our minds; many to be used at some later point as reference material to assist us with the myriad of tasks in life.

Narrative theory suggests the very thoughts we select to focus on make up a story about ourselves, others and our world. As this story shifts, possibly becoming more negative in nature, our emotional state and related behaviour also become more negative and burdensome. This is quite an empowering view however, as it indicates we are capable of selecting different thoughts or “re-writing” our stories. The women in the video discovered just how negative their story about body image had become by seeing thoughts right before their own eyes. This is one helpful tool to change thought patterns toward a healthier narrative.

Seeking assistance is a strength. It takes courage to recruit a professional counsellor to help uncover and understand the thoughts underlying negativity in our lives. At Jeff Packer MSW & Associates, we provide a safe, confidential and empowering space where you can improve your awareness of the factors contributing to problematic areas and develop the tools to rewrite your life more positively.

To fight off negative talk and improve your story, call us today !


Heads are leaning on heads. Bodies are squished together in small seats. Eyes are closed and heads are nodding forward. When eyes are open, we see angry faces and hear people in pissed off moods… and it’s only 7am. What is the rest of our day going to look like?

There’s no doubt about it, we live in a world of hustle. Some of us work 8-12 hour days and still have to “work” on daily family tasks when we get home. When our heads hit the pillow and we finally attain a moment of silence, we begin to process all that needs to be done for the day to come). We ask ourselves; “Where did this day go?”

So I have to ask: “Is the hustle and bustle of our lives really worth it?” We are begging for a vacation because we need that escape. We are looking for new jobs and opportunities to make our lives better (or easier). We are asking ourselves; “Does life have to be this hard?”

Stressful events and life’s hiccups are inevitable; however, how we perceive and cope with these experiences make a world of difference. Balance is an essential component to consider when we make decisions in our lives. Of course, once we make these decisions (e.g. to work here or there, to commute or not, etc.), it is important to “own them”, take responsibility for the results of our decisions and be accountable for our actions.

To attain a balanced lifestyle, we must shift our thoughts from stress and worry, to positivity and action. Staying positive is difficult to do on our own; however, building a strong connection to our higher power and with friends and family can provide us with the support we need. Action may sound tiring; however, staying active prevents doubt, builds confidence, distracts us from stressful thoughts and releases endorphins or what we like to call the “happy hormones”.

Solution-focused counselling can help us train our mind into being more positive and action focused. This form of brief-therapy is future focused, goal-directed, and centers on solutions rather than problems. To attain your goals without having to feel burdened or stressed each morning, call us today!


What About God?

For some of us, we are raised in a family that follows a specific religious denomination. The practices, followings, and teachings are supposedly instilled in us so that we too may follow the exact same practices, the exact same teachings. We, at times, felt that our parents’ or grandparents’ way of reaching their Higher Power was too strict to follow. Or, we had no parental influences that a Higher Power may exist. As a result, we may tell ourselves that this isn’t for us and religion isn’t real, isn’t needed or isn’t even useful. For many of us, this thought pattern marks the beginning of neglecting our spiritual development and putting road blocks in our spiritual journey.

As we slowly adopt this stinkin’ thinkin’, we become less open to the possibility that a Higher Power exists. How could He exist, when we face so many difficult obstacles? How can some “Being” watch us suffer, feel depressed, go through numerous failed relationships, or have communities deprived of food and shelter?

These questions run through our minds, especially when we are faced with life challenges. However, deep inside us, we still talk to this “Being.” We still have some spec of hope that a Higher Power will see us out of our troubles. This is what we call FAITH. If we were able to change our thoughts based on our faith in a Higher Power, imagine the possibilities that can open up for us.

“I asked for strength, and

God gave me difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for wisdom, and

God gave me brawn and brain to work.

I asked for courage, and

God gave me dangers to overcome.

I asked for love, and

God gave me troubled people to help.

I asked for favors, and

God gave me opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted.
I received everything I needed.

My prayers were answered.”

[from Rabbi Irwin Katsof’s How to Get Your Prayers Answered]

We know very well, at least usually, the parts of ourselves needing work. All too often, however, the physical aspects of living take priority over our spiritual development. Being guided to restore and build up our spiritual strengths can help us restore our relationship with our Higher Power. Spiritual strength enhances our relationships with ourselves and others. It helps us cope more effectively with life’s challenges. Prayer has been clinically proven to improve our health and well being.

To get assistance with your spiritual journey, reach out for counselling contact us today