Job Fair

How can I pursue my dreams if I’m stuck doing this job instead?

“Do you dread running into acquaintances from your past, like I do, because of the questions they may ask about your life successes? You know they are really looking to dive into your failures, right?  At family gatherings, relatives may inquire if you’ve put any your academic credentials to any good use, in hopes you are doing something ‘worthwhile’; asking “Have you found a job in your field yet?”

The ugly truth is that life has been difficult. We have credentials that make us qualified. We have personalities to blow our future employers away. However the calls aren’t coming in and interviews aren’t taking place. The phrase “looking for a job is like having a full time job” just doesn’t cut it for us. Sometimes we have to put those “dream career aspirations” on hold because we have other responsibilities to take care of: family, bills, mortgage/rent payments, and OSAP/line of credit loans to name a few. As much as we are thankful to be able to meet our basic needs at the temporary job, we are not happy, and it is difficult to view our dream career as remotely within our reach.

So what do we do?

The first thing is to shift our thoughts in order to believe in our full potential pushing away from thoughts like; “I’m not good enough!”, ” I can’t do this”, I’ll never get there or amount to anything”… Sound familiar? Where did these negative sayings come from?  How did it get into our minds? At what point was it whispered or even yelled at us (by strangers, our peers, from media or even by members of our family)?

Counselling helps us discover thoughts and thinking patterns (schemata) that have contributed to feelings of low self-worth, incompetence and insecurity. Further, professional counsellors can assist with developing an understanding about the events and life situations that may have contributed to negative self perceptions. Of course, discovering how we got into a particular problem can both help us avoid it in the future and help us find solutions to get “unstuck”.

Gaining insight into ourselves helps develop more positive and affirming attitudes that fuel increased energy and productivity. When we adopt new, more optimistic thought patterns, self-worth and confidence rise, positive emotional states emerge and then behaviours change positively as well. These proactive behaviour changes are necessary to keep our dreams alive and to takes the steps required to achieve them.

Get started today? Call our registered, confidential counsellors to book your appointment!

“Mark was 38 and after earning his M.B.A., he joined the marketing division of a large conglomerate. He worked his way up the corporate ladder. His talent and long working hours was rewarded by his promotion to lead his division.

The promotion left him with mixed feelings. Soon after the promotion, during his routine check up, Mark was informed his blood pressure had rocketed to the borderline hypertension range (around 150 over 100). He was given an ambulatory monitor which provided 20 blood pressure readings per day.

The first day of monitoring, Mark had a staff meeting to lead. As he was preparing, the monitor recorded his reading which was 195 over 140. The following day, Mark resigned from his managerial role and returned to a less stressful position” (Davidson, Neale, Blankstein, & Flett, 2002).

At some points of our lives, we can all relate to Mark’s story. We set goals for ourselves, aim high, and take the necessary steps to achieve BIG goals. This hard work and dedication can take a toll on our lives, our bodies, and our well-being. How many times have we ignored the subtle signs of stress that our bodies bear? We sometimes feel the need to push ourselves beyond our limits, often to the point of exhaustion, because we believe this is what it takes or means to become successful.

Even Mark, early on, ignored his inner voice, his real self. Those “mixed feelings” were his body’s way of trying to fight his stinkin’ thinkin’; providing some sort of sign for him to sit and wait and consider all aspects that this promotion can bring to his life (healthy and unhealthy). In business, this may be referred to as a “cost-benefit analysis”

For Mark, and for most of us, we often wait for our body to give us a sounding alarm that a change needs to happen. This occurs although our inner voice/spirit has been with us all along.

At Jeff Packer MSW & Associates, we help people uncover or rediscover their inner voice/spirit and more effectively use their emotional guidance system. This helps those we work with gain the strength and confidence to trust themselves even more.

Seeking counselling for work-related stress helps develop healthier balancing of personal and career goals. Contact us today!

Guess what… struggling is normal. For years, the Maid of the Mist fought against the current, carrying thousands of passengers into the mist of Niagara Falls, Ontario. The excitement, nervousness and uncertainty all part of the ride; all part of the motivation for going on this tour in the first place.

Think about how your life would be if you had no problems; no conflicts between family, friends, or co-workers; no challenges to face; and no obstacles to overcome. What would that look like for you? Some may say peaceful or amazing. Some may jump for joy and yell, “FINALLY!”

I say….BORING! To live without struggle is to live without development and growth. A life without conflict would result in a lack of learning skills like how to develop effective communication, negotiation, assertiveness and problem-solving skills. Well, after years of service, it seems the Niagara company grew complacent. Never facing any real competition or pressure, the Maid of the Mist just kept providing service until a few years ago when the company’s contract ran out and another firm surprisingly won the bid to take over.

And what about goals? Should we not strive to achieve things that don’t actually come easy to us? A life without struggle may actually be suggesting a life without achievement. Maslow’s humanistic approach to psychology encourages the notion that we all strive to achieve certain needs; he identified a hierarchy or needs. When those needs are met, we then attempt to fulfill another, then another. These needs, according to Maslow, provide us with the ultimate goal of reaching self-actualization (our highest and greatest potential).

We may not know now what our greatest potential looks like, however, the steps we take to get there are the building blocks of healthy growth and development. It takes patience, time, and practice to accept struggles and conflict as a normal positive aspect of our lives.

We are constantly learning how to do this; over time coping better with situations of grief, loss and all kinds of unforeseen challenges and changes we are facing. If you want assistance developing life skills faster, contact our registered, Oshawa-based counsellors and Let us help!