Birthdays? Sorrows or Celebrations?

What are your birthday celebrations like? Do you feel special and appreciate the day you were born? How about others? Do they contact you, text, email, post on your wall or call? Are your birthdays marked by traditions such as being woken with the Happy Birthday song, maybe combined with the number of spanks and a “pinch to grow an inch”? Is the food served the same or does it depend on your selection each year? And cake… mmmmm… cake lit up with just the right number of candles or perhaps you have some other yummy dessert? Happiness and joy with friends and family to celebrate another great year of life.

Too many questions? Please just a few more. Are you worried about your age… too young or too old? Do you worry about who will call if anyone? Are you even able to afford a good meal? Is it just plain embarrassing to have another birthday in the condition you’re in? Yes this may be the reality for far too many; birthdays that are not times of celebration but moments of deep sorrow, reminders of the day-to-day struggles facing them; living in poverty, in abusive relationships and wrestling with challenges with mental, physical and spiritual health. Some grieving the recent loss of a loved one or the deterioration of their marriage will certainly find it difficult to “celebrate” their birthday.

It is important for us to be sensitive to the conditions and circumstances of others. We may be better off lamenting with a friend or grieving with a family member on their birthday or other special occasion. Although it may not be fun or comfortable for us, sharing in the pain of another can go along way to comfort them. Ancient texts tell of friends sitting with the grieving person silently for days to support them, pointing out there is a time for everything under the sun. Times to celebrate, party and feast and still other times for mourning, silence and sorrowful companionship.

Some birthdays invoke sadness and painful memories. This is not “wrong”, “crazy” or “weird”, but simply part of being fully human and having complete access to the full range of emotional experience.

Whatever experience you are having on your birthday…  on this “your special day” remember you are wonderfully made and the day you were given the gift of life is worth celebrating.