Family is Team – Play Together More !

Family Systems Theory  –  by Susan Packer

It has been said that laughter is infectious. Joy and happiness can be transferred from one to another simply through a smile. Likewise, negative emotions such as anger, fear and sadness easily move from one individual to another. A person’s mood and demeanour has a significant impact upon the people around them. Psychologist Murray Bowen suggested that high levels of stress result in increased interdependency of family members (Jones & al, 2011).

The riddle, “Who is sicker Mrs. Sicker or Mr. Sicker or Mr. and Mrs. Sicker’s child? The child is just a little sicker!” illustrates an all too common triangle in family relationships (Bregman, 2011). When a child is ill or struggles intellectually or socially they may be viewed as the “problem child” in the family. Well-meaning parents generally form an alliance of concern regarding this child. This serves to relieve the parents’ stress but may add to the child’s. That added stress could cause the child to present with larger issues, leading to additional concern from the parents who increase their bond, which may actually fuel a downward spiral in the child (Gilbert, 2004). Any downward spiral in one family member, physically, mentally, socially, financially or spiritually, often has an immediate impact on the emotional state of others.

The goal of Bowen Family Systems Theory, brought to light most frequently in family counselling, is to establish a strong sense of individual and group identity within the family. This balance occurs in well-adjusted families through clear and flexible roles and rules or in well-adjusted individuals within a poorer functioning family (Papero, 1990). The healthy individual does not need a relationship to feel complete, so their relationships are based upon love and respect, not a personal need for fulfillment and they tend to make decisions based upon solid information, not feelings imposed by others.

From a family systems approach, all members are interconnected by the intensity of our emotional bonds, our various and unique roles and rules, thus, it is thought that not all people need to be present or working together for change to occur in the family system. Studies repeatedly reveal that a significant shift in one person’s behaviour has an impact, whether small or large, on the entire family (Nichols, 2004). Of course, the more family members are prepared to work on a project… the quicker the task may get done.

If you or someone you know is ready to get unstuck, make that shift or be that change… … Contact us today! 

 

Resources

Blessing, K. (2000). Murray Bowen’s Family Systems Theory as Bible Hermeneutic   Illustrated Using the Family of the Prodigal Son. Journal of Psychology and          Christianity , 38-46.

Bregman, O. C. (Ed.). (2011). Bringing Systems Thinking to Life: Expanding the             Horizons for Bowen Family Systems Theory. New York: Routledge.

David, J. R. (1979). The Theology of Murray Bowen or the Marital Triangle. Journal of           Psychology and Theology , 259-262.

Gilbert, R. M. (2004). The Eight Concepts of Bowen Theory. Church Falls: Leading         Systems Press.

Jensen, C. A. (2003). Toward Pastoral Counseling Integration: One Bowen Oriented Approach. The Journal of Pastoral Care & Counseling , 117-129.

Jones, S. L., & al, w. c. (2011). Modern Psychotherapies: A Comprehensive Christian        Approach. Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press.

Knudson-Martin, C. (1994). The Female Voice: Applications to Bowen’s Famiy           Systems Theory. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy , 35-46.

Nichols, M. P. (2004). Family Therapy Concepts and Methods. Boston: Allyn and            Bacon.

Papero, D. V. (1990). Bowen Family Systems Theory. Needham Heights: Allyn and      Bacon.