MY SON IS GLUED TO MY APRON STRINGS!!!!

How to effectively launch children

Thanks to one mother for sharing her specific challenge (below) and we have added a few ideas to help. You too can send us a blog which will be posted anoymously… helping others 🙂

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Wow, this is a super hard issue for me to talk about because I NEVER share this information with anyone.  My son is 28 years of age.  I am a married woman of 53.  My husband and I are separated presently.  We married in 2011 and have been married 4 years, together 6 years.  This is the longest relationship I have EVER had.  Back in April, my husband started drinking after almost 7 years of sobriety.  One of the reasons he started drinking was because of my 28 year-old-son.  This is so hard for me to face because I have been the protective mother hen to my son my whole life.  I find it very hard to choose between my husband and son and I always have.

At a very young age, my son was “different”.  Friends would come and go, mostly go because my son could be rather annoying, loud, mean, a lot of things.  The last birthday party I had for him, he was 8 years old and not one child showed up for his party.  Oh, we had calls saying, “oh sorry, so and so couldn’t make it”.  I sat and watched this boy cry out the window looking for some friends.  I was so heartbroken, I NEVER got over that.

He was diagnosed with ADHD and a learning disability (comprehensive reading).  He was always accepted by the “bad” peers because they would use him for money, his things, etc.  He got himself involved in drugs when he was 16.  He quit school at that time.  I moved to Oshawa in 2009 and actually left my son behind because his drug abuse really escalated.  My son was getting better through Methadone and finally, my husband realized how much I missed him and thought Oshawa would be a much better life for him.  He has been living with us since 2012.  Things were going well at first because my son was so happy to be with us.  He was hospitalized for 12 days when he had a psychosis – I believe it was from reducing Methadone and ill effects from past drugs.  In any case, he has a wonderful psychiatrist who is treating him.

My spouse is old fashioned.  He doesn’t believe in “mental illness”.  He thinks everyone should “get over it”.  This way of thinking really annoys me. Now, my son is very reclusive and will NOT listen to our rules.  He knows one person in Oshawa but rarely sees him.  He stays in his room, comes out to eat, shower or take the dog out. We have three simple rules:  no smoking in the house, sweep or vacuum floors daily or at least every second day and watch the puppy while we are away.  He looks after the puppy ONLY.  He does not seem to care about anything, talks about not wanting to be on this earth, “I don’t know why I was born”.  I know “some” of this is attention-seeking.

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This mother identifies a fairly common challenge for many parents, especially moms.