We Have Nothing in Common: Why Did I Get Married?

There is an assumption that the key to having a successful relationship is common interests. Some thoughts that may arise in a troubling relationship are: “We have nothing in common!” “Opposites DO NOT attract!” “If we don’t like the same things, there is nothing to talk about!” Or, “I can’t explain it to him/her, because he/she will never understand.”

If your wife loves arts & crafts and you don’t, does that mean you love her less? If your husband is out in the garage working on his cars all day, does that mean you love him less?  The key to having a successful relationship is a shared value system. Ask yourself and your partner this question: “Do we both want to grow and develop together?” A successful relationship will consist of two people who are open to discovering together, learning together, teaching one another, and communicating with each other in such a way that you can feel heard, respected, and supported.

Sometimes we assume that the frustration we have towards our partner is due to lack of common interests. When a couple attends counselling and discusses the difficulties with obtaining shared interests, what is usually discovered is a realm of other problems (e.g., communication barriers, poor time management skills, parenting disagreements, sexual frustration, and/or difficulties with conflict resolution…to name a few!).

If you and your partner can both agree to wanting to grow and develop together—to wanting to make your relationship work, then know that it is possible without having to be interested in the same things. With the right coaching, you and your partner can (1) create effective communicating skills to address concerns in your relationship, (2) maintain your own personal interests while still having a powerful relationship, and  (3) discover the new and exciting places you can take your relationship.

If you are ready to take your relationship up a notch (or two), click here and book an appointment with us today!